I see you. I hear you. What is YOUR superpower?

Create a Timeline

What brought me this insight was an interesting exercise that I recommend to everyone: create a timeline for yourself. You can divide the timeline into 5 different segments. For example, if you're 45 years old, you could take every 9 years. For each period, what were significant highs and memorable lows? Think about how these moments have influenced who you are today. What themes emerge? What lessons did you learn? What skills have you developed? This was the third time I did this activity and each time I learn something new.

My Theme: Loneliness

As a third culture kid, born overseas, my family travelled a lot. Between the ages of 5 and 7 I moved 5 times. I struggled to make friends and always felt like the odd one out. I have a school photograph of myself in Peru. I was about 6 or 7 years old. You can see I wasn’t very happy. That period has always been a blur, and I haven't paid much attention to it until this round of timeline activity. In the years that followed, the intense loneliness I felt as a teenager and young adult was much more soul-crushing. But even as an adult there were moments, living in a foreign culture, having no one to spend Christmas with, friends leaving, that could feel quite lonely.

Loneliness can come from being an expat, or from people not really understanding what you're about when you repatriate. Certain jobs are lonelier than others because of confidentiality or political reasons. Or loneliness can come from a mindset that we're supposed to do everything on our own, not be vulnerable and not ask for help.

The Gifts of Hard Times

Difficult experiences can be gifts and make us the people we are today. Going back in time to significant positive and challenging events can give you clues as to what your great superpowers are and why you think, believe and act the way you do. It’s also interesting how your superpowers can sometimes be abused and overused and become Saboteurs instead! But more on that another time.

My recent realisation, WHY I coach and counsel, is because I have experienced intense loneliness and I want other people to feel seen and heard. It has made me a great listener, observer and incredibly empathetic to others who may be experiencing loneliness in some shape or form.

What gifts might you find in hard times? How may they have shaped your superpowers? How do you use them today?