Mind Management: A Journey 27 Years in the Making

Back in 1998, my dad gave me a book on meditation for Christmas. I remember mumbling a polite "thanks" and smiling awkwardly, while inwardly thinking, "Seriously? Not interested!" As a kid, I'd occasionally catch him in lotus position, eyes closed, in the living room. My reaction? A raised eyebrow, an eye-roll, and a quick exit. As a self-proclaimed Christian-Buddhist (total hippie), he also gifted me a few other books on Indian spirituality. Interestingly, my brother never received these. However, with me, he must have sensed that at some point, I'd be ready to explore meditation. I held onto those books, but they remained unopened until last week—27 years after he first gave them to me.The inscription inside reads: "May this help you find your path!" I couldn't help but chuckle. I've been on "my path" for decades, but I guess better late than never! He must be smiling down on me somewhere, thinking, "I told you so!"

Why Now?

So, why did I finally open that meditation book after years of ignoring it? A midlife awakening, perhaps?!

As many of you know, Positive Intelligence has been transformative for me, both personally and professionally. After several years of applying its principles, I experience so much more joy, balance, and confidence. It's helped me become more present, savouring life's offerings, feeling gratitude, and noticing the beauty in my surroundings and in the people I meet. I've also witnessed my clients, who've gone through the Positive Intelligence training and continued their journeys, find more calm, clarity, joy, awareness, and intentionality in their choices. It all begins with being fully present to what is, without judgment, but with curiosity and empathy. The transformation I experienced felt spiritual, in a way that's hard to articulate—perhaps a greater sense of inner peace or a deepening trust in myself and this adventure called life.

Over the past year, as an extension and deepening of Positive Intelligence, I've been incorporating more classical meditation (seated with eyes closed) into my morning and evening routines. While not perfectly consistent, it's become frequent enough that I actually miss it when I don't do it. This has been a surprising shift, considering I've struggled to sit still for most of my life. Even when I was still, I was always "doing" something: watching TV, reading a book, playing a game. There was always an element of activity.

And now, for the first time, I genuinely love sitting quietly for 20 minutes or so, just being. Not doing anything. And approaching whatever arises in my mind with empathy and curiosity.

The Power of Mind Management

In a recent meditation course, the teacher brought up the concept of "Mind Management," and it deeply resonated with me.

As humans, we manage countless aspects of our lives: households, kids, pets, jobs, careers, teams, projects, health, time, finances, relationships, shopping, and more. We might excel in some areas and struggle in others. But why is it that so many of us neglect to manage our minds? It seems absurd when you consider that our minds are "on" all day! We talk, process, question, criticize, analyze, move, and drink. We're constantly busy.

Many of my clients echo this sentiment:

• "If I could just slow down..."
• "My mind is so full, always on the go."
• "I need more balance in my life."
• "I want to be more present when I'm with my family."

It's no wonder we often wake up at 2 or 3 AM, wide awake with to-do lists, worries, and overwhelming thoughts. Our brains need time to process the day's events, and if that doesn't happen during the day, it'll happen during your sleep.

Our minds also seem to control so much of our lives. A significant portion of what we do is on autopilot. We let our minds make all the decisions, and many of these decisions we fundamentally disagree with—all those bad habits we constantly try to break. From eating too much junk food or having one glass of wine too many, to reacting impatiently to a co-worker, snapping at a child, procrastinating on work, or avoiding a difficult conversation. What if we could actually tell our minds what to focus on and what to do? We are not our thoughts. We can choose what to think and what to focus on.

In the meditation book my dad gave me, the author, Eknath Easwaran, writes: "If this body is like the body of a car, the mind is the engine—the most important part of the vehicle. As such, we ought to give it special attention and care [...] But so many people who want a Ferrari body are content to keep an old Model T engine putt-putting along inside it. Most of their attention goes to externals: chrome hubcaps, bordeaux cherry vinyl seats, [...] little dolls that shake their hula skirts in the back window. What is the good of all that if the pistons are worn out and your engine won’t perform? We need minds that are powerful, lucid and capable of discrimination. And we need minds that follow directions, not ones that are rebellious."

Need I say more?

So, whether it's through Positive Intelligence, meditation, or something else, how are you managing your mind so that it doesn't manage you?