"Know Thyself" - Reflections from the WISE26 Women Leadership Conference

The Coaching Corner: A Space for Vulnerability

Away from the big stage, the bustle of the cafeteria, and the vibrancy of the workshop spaces… was the coaching corner—in the Library. We gathered there with all the great coaches that WISE26 had to offer.

I literally had the back right corner, up against the window. An intimate little hole to retreat into for some quiet and vulnerable reflection. All the souls I met were brave, beautiful women, willing to share a bit of their story with a stranger. I applaud them.

Unlearning the "Strong Woman" Myth

This is NOT an easy thing to do. It took me years to seek support. Why? Because I thought I had to go about life on my own, be independent and strong. I thought I had to grind and work (too) hard to be successful. I thought that if I showed vulnerability or had an intense emotion in front of someone, there was something wrong with me. NONE of this is true.

Coming to this awareness and mindset shift is the first step to finding and connecting with your authentic self—AND feeling joy, seeing beauty, and living intentionally. Luckily, not everyone thinks they need to suffer quietly, and they don’t wait until they crash (I did—but that’s another story).

Lessons from the Main Stage

The excellent keynote speakers highlighted:

• Changing systems: These are the things we need to fix—not ourselves.

• The importance of the pause: Giving ourselves time for a more authentic choice instead of reacting in protective ways.

• Embracing the whole self: Realizing that perfection is an illusion.

When the System Pushes Back

But in order to fix “the system,” we need to wake up, question, and challenge. And since we are products of the systems we live in, we don’t know what we don’t know. Even if we do see what’s wrong with a system, we need to find the courage and resilience to speak up and challenge it. Systems, when pushed and prodded, like to push back to regain their equilibrium. So get ready for the pushback.

The Masks We Wear

Challenging systems is hard to do if we are used to wearing masks to protect ourselves from flawed, hurtful environments. We may not even know that we have masks up, because we are so disconnected from our bodily wisdom, our intuition, our hearts, and what we really want.

We are given the advice to be our “authentic” selves. But… what if we don’t really know who that person is? What if you’ve dedicated your life to your work and you wonder… wait… who am I outside of work?

Facing the Risks of Authenticity

All of these worries, questions, and fears are real. You might need to please a boss to maintain your career, or you might feel trapped by financial and familial obligations. But we need to be brave and face them to find our authentic selves, to feel fully alive and experience joy. Otherwise, we live in numbness, not experiencing much of anything but Groundhog Day.

Actually, facing our fears can be a beautiful process. For we are infinitely deep, we are incredibly unique, and there are endless things to unmask, uncover, and grow.

Choosing Love Over Fear

Looking back at your life, how do you want to have lived? Did you choose fear? Or did you choose love and happiness?

Our keynote speakers were right: We aren’t broken and don’t need fixing. But we definitely need remembering, discovering, and connecting with our true, unique, beautiful selves. It’s hard to do on your own because we all have blind spots. Our psycho-biology—the reactive behaviors wired into us for decades—is challenging to change. But it’s definitely possible.

The Ultimate Truth: Know Thyself

It all starts with self-awareness. The ancient Greeks knew this. “Know thyself” was carved on the temple of Apollo at Delphi. This is the ultimate form of knowledge and truth.

Knowing thyself gives a sense of peace and wholeness, a quiet confidence, and a love for the self that is unperturbed by external challenges. For you truly start to sense that you—are—enough. And then the more you connect with your authentic self… your positive energy spreads, we experience greater connection, and we change the systems one interaction, one post-it note, and one micro-impact at a time.